Thursday, December 10, 2009

P3 R1 D16

+0.4 Above LDW - 165.2

P3 has been rough on me with all the stress. It's strange because my body is mostly responding like I'm in P4 already.

I didn't have the mental strength to do a steak day yesterday. I just ate super light and this morning I was at 165.2. I even drank last night, 2 long islands hold the tequila and gin. Weird huh.

I don't want to push it but I really think my body is in P4 mode. I'm so freakin hard headed gotta keep testing the waters. Things are just super emotional right now it's tough not to cheat on P3.

I think working through the emotional eating is going to be what makes me or breaks me in regaining the weight. I have to find an alternative to eating!

And later that day back at the bat cave....
My insanity of eating continues! today started out aight and then the holiday potluck came to town and it went further downhill from there.

What I ate today:
denver bowl from Jack in the Box (ate some of the hash brown in the bowl but took most of it out)
ham
1 shrimp with shrimp cocktail
1 stuffed wanton with soy sauce
two fork-fuls of chinese noodles
1 fork-ful of cajun rice
cabbage salad with almonds (oh so darn good)
1 brownie (yes I said brownie *doh*)
a taste of spinach dip
a taste of guacamole
4 yes to cookies dipped in whip cream

That's all I can remember. I actually didn't even eat everything on my plate... Somebody might have had a not so happy tummy because of the drinking last night, but you didn't hear that from me.

My brain is off the hook right now with wanting to eat stuff. Seriously, I feel like a dope fiend for junk food right now. It's just a matter of time before I have this all back under control. Get through finals and month end stuff and close this chapter...

Emotional eating is not the same as craving. My stress and anxiety is up and I want to numb it with comfort foods (foods I like which usually have lots of sugar in them). Time to read the chapter in The Anderson Method again about fixing what's wrong in real life so I can stop trying to fix it with food!

Anybody curious about what the scale is going to say beside me?

2 comments:

  1. Tam-

    Okay, you knew I would have to scold ya a little :) First of all congrats on stabilizing pretty well!! You have done great. What I am worried about is the emotional eating. I would be so much happier if I heard that you had eaten those things because you wanted to. You knew you might have to do a steak day, but you weighed it out and really wanted to splurge that day. Instead I hear you eating for every reason BUT being hungry or a special day. I still hear you eating for emotional reasons as you were saying. It has not affected your weight loss so far, but it is those reasons that got us into trouble in the first place. You are a strong beautiful woman, and have accomplished so much! Stop and think about what you are eating and why. If you can't say it's because you want it, and you don't have an ounce of guilt about it, and that it is not because it will make you "feel" better, then put it down and walk away :) You can do this. You just lost 36 lbs in one round!!! You did not do that for nothing. Keep focused and enjoy your new body! You deserve it ;)

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  2. Thanks for the good talking to, Jen.

    Last night I sat down with The Anderson Method and read the part where he talked about emotional eating. When I was done I hopped on the work that was bothering me; it took me till 5 am to finish.

    Since I have finals and work reports scheduled till Wednesday next week I am going to have quite a few days to practice some of your suggestions as well as those from the supportive group of women at Low Carb Friends site (the site is not just for low carbers).

    I'm planning on dropping my kids off to their dad, turning off my cell phone and going to my school library with only the foods I need so I can have quiet and no "need to get this or that done around the house" stimuli.

    Finishing reports and studying will be my only focus.

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